It’s National Working Moms Day…

What a loaded topic, right? When it comes to the phrase "working moms," there is just so much to unpack! And for good reason. Every mom works! But today, I'm going to focus on a major theme that frequently comes up in my practice with moms - the return to work after maternity leave.

Every birthing person's experience with returning to work at the end of a parental leave is different (if they even get to take a leave), especially depending on where you work, the type of work you do, your schedule, a supervisor's ability to be flexible and understanding, how you've decided to feed your baby, and on and on. One thing is for certain - the birthing person returning to work is not entirely the same person they were prior to their leave.

✨ Birthing persons are more than likely still recovering from being pregnant and giving birth to their child.

✨ They're TIRED!

✨ They're experiencing Mommy Brain. New research frames mommy brain in a much more strengths-based way - that our brains are expanding out of necessity due to all the new knowledge needed to raise a child. But this can make it difficult at work to focus and multi-task effectively, leaving birthing persons feeling as though they can no longer keep up with demands that were probably unrealistic in the first place.

✨They've gone through and are going through a major identity transformation where there is no real learning curve. They say when a baby is born, so is a mother. But that doesn't mean there's an instant download of "how to be a mother while also living the rest of your life." Everything is different - from the way their body looks and feels in old work clothes to getting acquainted with their new life. Adding adjusting to becoming a working mom can often feel overwhelming.

✨Given that 1 in 5 women experience Postpartum Depression and that symptoms typically peak between 3-6 months postpartum, women are returning to work struggling with a perinatal mental health disorder while navigating new parenthood.

✨They've NEVER done this before. They've never had to get themselves ready for work while caring and feeding a baby at the same time. They've never had to figure out how to drop off a baby at daycare or a family member's home while making it to work on time. They've never had to mask their feelings of guilt about leaving their baby in the care of someone else. They've never had to balance work with pediatrician appointments and ALL the seasonal illnesses that babies get. And this holds true for 2nd, 3rd, 4th and beyond babies.

It's important for everyone to understand WHY it's so challenging for birthing persons to return to work post-parental leave because understanding is what allows compassion to grow.

And compassion is what all new parents need…along with a few other things:

✨ Mamas, you need to give yourself grace upon your return. It's okay to take it slow when you go back. Temper the expectations you have set for yourself. Just like people say you don't need to be supermom, you don't need to be super employee of the year. All you need to do is your best on any given day. And your best? It's going to look and feel different every day. That is 100% okay!

✨ Go through your getting ready for work routine before returning and leave time for getting your pump parts ready (if you've chosen to breastfeed) or bottles prepared for whoever is going to care for your little one while you're at work.

✨Ask for help. This is a big one. Use your support system. Has someone offered to cook a meal to make things easier? Has someone offered to do drop off and pick up for your baby? Has someone offered to help in another way? Say YES and try hard not to feel guilty about wanting or needing help.

✨Allow yourself to feel whatever it is your feeling. Many parents who return to work report feeling worried, guilt, anxiety, sadness and overwhelm. Others report they felt ready to return and wonder if there is something wrong because they feel ready. Every feeling is valid. And every feeling passes. But know that if your return to work is more challenging than you thought it would be and you're starting to struggle, please reach out for help!